Helping Gamers be Better Cheaters

[APRIL FOOLS - Learn about Helping cheaters be better players]

I've been playing more Hordes lately, tournaments too and if there's one thing we all hate, it's losing and having to pack up your army while everyone's congratulating whoever won.

Weep no more! Today I'm going to teach you the tricks that all the best players use to play their way to the top of all the professional tournaments. Many of these tricks will work in any system. Need to cheat at Warmachine and Hordes? No problem. Planning to cheat at Warhammer without buying terrain? I got your back. Want to win at Warhammer 40k without buying Space Marines? Read on!



Gaming Aids

Extend your Tape Measure

 Your tape measure determines all sorts of things - mainly movement and shooting ranges. So, if you can make it longer, you get a huge advantage.


Cut out a strip of paper, the width of your tape measure. Tape it on to the end of the tape. Now, obviously this doesn't look right.

That's because it's missing something.

Take a marker and put a bunch of little ticks on the paper, just like a tape measure would have. It may not look great from close up, buuuut...


From further away you can't even tell the difference!

There! 3" has never seemed so big before!

Now, I know what you're thinking - "What if my tape measure is yellow?" Easy, just use a highlighter on it.

Use Bigger Templates

You're going to be kicking yourself for not thinking of this one. Instead of paying for official templates, just make your own.

No, don't just cut any old circle and think you can trick your opponents. If you want your opponent to believe the lie, copy it from the back page of the book, blow up the image and then cut it out.

Best part is that the book actually gives you permission to do this!

It doesn't say anything about HOW to photocopy the templates.

Modelling

WYSINWYG

This is so simple AND it saves you money. In games like Warhammer where certain models can look different, don't bother. Make all your troops look the same. Who's got the rocket launcher? Who cares! Fire it from someone else next turn.

Even better, got a special character you want to protect? Use one of the models he'll be surrounded by to represent him. As long as you "know" who he is, that's all that matters.

Angle Shoulders Backwards

This simply takes advantage of rules in print. Privateer Press states that if bases aren't marked to show facing, draw it along the shoulders. Well, if you want a bigger front face, just angle the shoulders backward.

Best part is, this isn't technically cheating - it's in the rules!


Strategy and Tactics

Pile troops to avoid template attacks

Templates can really be annoying, especially if your army uses large amounts of troops. Well, there is one way around templates... or should I say, there's a way UNDER them.

If you're trying to protect a special character or maybe an objective, you want to group around them / it. Unfortunately, templates are a quick way of dealing with groups of troops.

Templates can only hit what they can see. If you pile your troops in what's commonly referred to as the "Mahjong Formation" then template attacks are forced to remove only the top layer of troops at a time.

Start with a tightly grouped pack of models, then stack another layer on top.
If a template hits them, only the top group of models can be removed. The ones below are safe.

Careful not to get too greedy. If you do, you might end up pulling a "Jenga" and watch all your troops fall into an ugly pile.

Remember - once you've moved a model, you can't move it again! Template attacks will quickly wipe out a pile like this if you're not careful.

Red Ones Go Fasta

It's true. I proved it two years ago to the day. Paint your models RED if you want them to move quicker.

White Out - The Secret Weapon

Did you know that White Out isn't allowed at tournaments? It's true, and this is why.

Change the Numbers on Dice

Y'know how some Football teams always win the coin toss? It's because they use coins with heads or tails on both sides. If it's good enough for professional sports, it's good enough for wargaming! You can use White Out to add more dots to dice.

Just don't get cocky and modify the "6" side as that will be a dead giveaway that you are cheating.

"Update" Model Stats and Rules

In programming, there's a term called "Garbage In - Garbage Out" which basically means you can use anything you want that you put in to the source. (Seriously, there's a Wikipedia article and everything.) So, in the same way, update the stats and rules for some of your models.

Cover the stats you want to change with white out, then once it's dry use a pen to write in whatever stats you want.

Again, don't go overboard. If you try to change things like the picture or the name of the unit, your opponent might start to get suspicious.