Do Red Ones Go Fasta' ? The Age Old Question Answered

 Today I decided to finally look at answering the age old question:

Do "Red ones go fasta' " ?

After all, there are plenty of people who paint their armies red. Perhaps these people have figured out something that the rest of us haven't. If that's the case, then there are all kinds of players taking advantage of this trick in order to gain an unfair benefit during friendly games and certainly using it as an illegal tactic in tournaments.

In order to test this theory, I started by sticking a piece of tape to my desk to use as a starting line. Then, I placed two Eldar Jetbikes side by side on it.

Now, for the record, both these bikes have a normal movement of 12 inches.
This distance will be the constant I use for the purpose of this experiment.

I've also left the background in all the shots to act as a constant point of reference.

First, I move the non-red Jetbike its normal movement of 12 inches:

Second, I move the red Jetbike its normal movement of 12 inches:

Upon closer inspection, you can see just how much further the red Jetbike gets after ending its 12 inch move compared to the non-red Jetbike.

Unfortunately, this experiment was limited to just testing Jetbikes. After seeing the results, I'm curious how other models would benefit from this sort of colouring. Would this affect the armour or chitin of soldiers? What about the range of artillery shells? Or perhaps even vehicles that are less aero-dynamic? Now I'm even wondering how this might affect the Fantasy range of Warhammer!

Not completely convinced yet? Here's the close-up view, with measurements, where the difference in distance is more obvious:

Obviously, knowingly or unknowingly, certain players have been gaining an unfair advantage for decades. I think it's only fair that everyone else be made aware of this cheat. After reading this, I suggest you print this article off and bring it to your tournament organizers - in the interest of fair gaming, models painted red should not be allowed in competitive play.

The following is a petition you can post at your Favourite Local Gaming Store where people who are willing to acknowledge this research can sign their support of this issue.

Download the PDF here